Here’s the entry I’ve been waiting for since February-March. The entry that comes after the Michigan trip with the Rowleys. Unfortunately, this entry isn’t going to turn out the way I’ve wanted it to for so long. Everything was going fine. In fact, we even had a great moment in the kitchen with killer looks that drove me crazy. I couldn’t help but think that things were moving up from this point forward on the vacation. We were finally breaking that barrier and something was going to happen. Little did I know my feeling of unexpected outcome came true the very next day. He had the nerve to go out with another girl while on vacation with me. They went to the gym, the beach and then he really had some nerve to bring her to the beach and meet all of us. I can’t even begin to describe the anger i felt towards him in that moment and throughout the rest of the day. Normally I’m happy and laughing and smiling at everything he says. I truly wanted nothing to do with him that day. I normally walk next to time and try to sit by him or across from him. I really honestly stopped myself mid-walk and fell to the back. I tried to sit as far away from his as possible at lunch that day. I could tell that he knew I was upset. That’s what happened and here’s my analysis. That really speaks to how he feels about me. The one week that we get to spend together and he has the nerve to go out with another girl, bring her back to meet all of us, and then continue to talk about her in front of us. There was no talking our last day. There was no goodbye hug. I had been praying for some sort of sign as to how to feel. I didn’t think I really got that as I was driving home. But then I realized that I really did. For months (and you can read back and see this) I had been saying, ” I really just need to be with him so that I can gauge where I am with him. I need to see him in person for him to give me signs. Clearly there’s only one way to feel about this right now. He honestly just doesn’t give a shit about me. Clearly. If I meant anything significant to him, he would have showed me that. I got my sign and it’s very apparent. I just need to understand that that’s how I need to feel right now. If he doesn’t see this.. Honestly coming from a smart girl, that really is just too bad.